


this eternity

by dre_love



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Laura (Druck), Love, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-01-24 13:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18572251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dre_love/pseuds/dre_love
Summary: a collection of drabbles that i write when sudden inspiration hits me and i am exploding of matteo and david's love.





	1. black beanie

**Author's Note:**

> set in the time when david [intentionally] forgets his beanie at matteo's

I remember you by not much but this black beanie of yours.

You left it when you first came to my house. I couldn’t give it back to you then. I still can’t part from it.

It still reminds me of cheese-whipped cream sandwiches and wingless birds and Zelda and collages. I am reminded of your smile, the sound of your laughter, your voice. I think of your hair, the perfect shape of your lips, your beautiful eyes and I am filled with a desire to touch each and every part of you. I think that is my only regret – that I never took the time to trace them with my fingers, to do it over and over again until it was permanently ingrained in my brain.

Sometimes you come to me in my dreams. We are back in my kitchen with those messy sandwiches in our hands. We are laughing. Your eyes crinkle and my heart is bursting with joy like it has never before. In my dreams, you don’t leave. In my dreams, I don’t give up on you. In my dreams, we both are braver. In my dreams, we are one. But then morning comes and I wake up.

I wake up to a new day only to put on this black beanie. When someone asks where I got it from, I shrug. When they call me weird for wearing it in the heat, I don’t respond. No one can understand that I want to be engulfed in you, always. You made me smile when I thought that I had forgotten how to. You made me laugh, you made me question myself, you made me more honest. You made me feel like I had never had before.

But you aren’t here, so this beanie will have to do.

I wonder what would have happened if we had a little more time. It is not difficult for me to imagine your hand intertwined with mine. To see us playing Nintendo games together. To see us watching your new favourite movie. To see us on top of each other, lips crashing against each other’s, smiles and laughter filling us up. I can see it all so easily, like it was meant to be from the very beginning.

Maybe if I see you again, I will come talk to you. I will walk to you. Hold you. Breathe you in. And then tell you that I love you.

Maybe then my dreams will all come true.

Maybe then I won’t need this stupid beanie anymore.

I remember you even today. By more than just this black beanie of yours.


	2. for love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matteo thinks about things after the conversation with his gay guru

_give him time. Or forget him._

Matteo knew that forgetting David was not even an option. He knew it wasn't possible. At least not anytime soon. The memory of David's smile, his soft touches, his gentle kisses, his beautiful laughter, his confident stare was too fresh in Matteo's mind - it was all etched on his heart.

No, Matteo could never forget David. He will always wait for him. Maybe even forever.

He wants David to know this. That even if David needs a few more days, weeks, months or years, Matteo will be there for him. That he doesn't have to push him away. That they don't have to do anything that David doesn't want. That David can talk to him anytime, about anything. That David can share his feelings and his fears with Matteo. That Matteo will be a safe place for him, that Matteo wants to be a safe place for him. That they can be just friends until David is ready for more.

Because Matteo knows that he will be ready for more one day.

Because no one can love like David and say that they were lying.

Matteo knows.

So Matteo waits.

And he tells David - 

_Thank you for your drawing. Whatever it is that is troubling you, I am here. I will always be. I will wait. This is our eternity._


	3. fear and fight (courage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> david thinks about what he is doing and why. laura helps him think about what he should do next.

he thinks he can do this. he has done this before after all - hide who really is, lie. he thinks that he can lie again about how he feels.

laura questions him though. can you lie to him, she asks.

he doesn't respond. he doesn't want to lie if he can help it. the weight of it is too much to carry. he pulls on his black beanie instead. 

laura and him both know the truth. he is afraid. too afraid to not lie. too afraid to face rejection. too afraid to feel unwanted again. too afraid to see unsurety on matteo's face. 

there is a deafening silence as laura gathers the room's trash. david's thoughts are too loud. 

he is glad it's Abi now. he doesn't have to go to school everyday and face those he is hiding from. he can easily avoid them. him.

you're hurting yourself in trying to protect yourself, laura says. 

i know, he thinks. but this hurt is so much more bearable than what he has gone through before. of when people he loved didn't believe him, accept him. didn't want to be around him. moved away from him. who called him so many names, did so many cruel things. this is so much better than that, he thinks. because he can still believe that matteo likes him, that he still wants to be with him. that he isn't repulsed by david.

it's all really selfish, he says, you won't understand.

laura sighs. i get it, she says, just don't give up on this.

fight for yourself, she had told him when they had first met, fight for it because you believe in it.

he believed in them. he believed in matteo's touches, his laughter, his soft gaze, and in the crinkles around his eyes. he believed in their fingers intertwining perfectly, in the intermingling of their breath, in their lips against each other's, in his hand running through his hair.

he longed for it.

courage always takes a little time to come, laura always says. but it always comes if you really want it to.

and god, david wants it so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because I really don't want Laura to be Ger!Sonja. because David deserves to have someone who he truly believes is there for him.
> 
>  
> 
> please feel free to leave comments if you have anything to say! would love to read what you think.


	4. phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matteo only calls david because he asked him to

his phone is ringing. it's him. 

hello.  
hi.  
hi.

 

he can hear him breathe.

i was... i was going to come to your place now. but i remembered that you told me to call you.  
oh. okay.

 

david.

he doesn't reply. he isn't sure what to say.

 

i want you to know... i like you. you. who you are.

 

he is silent. 

 

david... please. i want to see you. i want to be with you. 

 

this can't be real, he is thinking. is he dreaming again? he lets out a shaky breath. he isn't sure if what he is feeling is relief or panic. he inhales slowly and exhales audibly. he can feel his throat contract.

 

david? can i come over?

 

the park, he says, outside.

 

okay. i'll be there right away.   
okay.

 

okay. things will be okay.


	5. reuniting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> david and matteo meet after a week apart

When they see each other after almost one week, there is nothing but love and joy that surrounds them. david first sees matteo waiting for him at the entrance of the school and he cannot help the smile that creeps up on his face. when matteo’s notices david, his lips quirk up too. david had missed this. god, he had missed this.

hi, he says when he reaches matteo.

hi, matteo replies, uh, how was the exam?

david shrugs. it doesn’t really matter, he can’t think about anything but matteo and him.

what are we doing now?

want to get something to eat?

yeah. let’s do that.

as they leave, their hands brush. there is nothing more matteo wants than to hold david’s hand, let him know that he is with him and he is here to stay, and hope that david is too. but he stops himself. he doesn’t want to make a mistake like the last time at the park, doesn’t want david to feel uncomfortable ever. he is willing to wait, like david waited for him. so he is surprised when david’s little finger holds onto his. he has to look down as his cheeks feel warm and a huge smile breaks onto his face. he bites his lip trying to supress the smile but it’s of no use. he hears david chuckle beside him so he looks up. as they keep walking ahead, matteo tugs on david’s hand and david opens it up. their hands intertwine and it still amazes matteo how well they fit. he is convinced, once more, that this was meant to be. all this time, he was waiting for this, everything was preparing him for this. he couldn’t be happier.


	6. reunion (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they go out for lunch after David’s exam, Matteo tells him that he loves him.

When they go out for lunch after David’s exam, Matteo tells him that he loves him.

‘I… I also came out to my mom,’ he says, ‘I want her to know what is going on in my life, who I am. She’s my mom, you know.’

David smiles at him when he says that and squeezes his hand.

‘I… uh. I told her that I am in love with you.’ David looks up at Matteo. ‘I… You don’t have to say anything back but I just want you to know… I love you. You.’

David’s thumb is moving in circles on the back of Matteo’s hand. ‘Is that why it took you so long? Were you… unsure?’

‘I never doubted what I felt for you, not for a second. I just… I wasn’t sure what this meant for me and my identity. And that was really shitty of me. I am sorry. So sorry. I should’ve talked to you earlier than I did. I… I fucked up.’

David nods slightly. Silence stretches around them and Matteo isn’t sure what this means. Has he messed up beyond repair?

He bumps his knees with David’s. ‘Say something.’

David smiles and looks at him. Their faces are close enough to feel each other’s breath, for Matteo’s wild hair to caress David’s face as the cold wind blows. So David does the most natural thing that occurs to him – he rests his forehead against Matteo’s, inhaling in his scent and basking in it.

‘I believe you.’

They stay like that for a while. Matteo’s hands have found David’s face and David clings to Matteo’s oversized jacket. David bumps their noses and they smile. Matteo giggles.  
‘It’s getting a bit cold out here,’ Matteo says, tugging down David’s beanie to cover his ears, ‘do you want to go sit somewhere inside?’

‘Your place?’

Matteo nods against David’s forehead. ‘If that’s cool.’

‘Yeah,’ he says, ‘it’s cool.’

As they are walking back David tells him that he might sleep for a bit. He is tired.

‘That’s cool,’ Matteo says, ‘I’ll just watch you.’

David bursts out laughing and pushes Matteo playfully.

‘You’re such a creep,’ he sounds amused, ‘I’m not too sure I should go with you now.’

Matteo grins but rolls his eyes, ‘shut up,’ he says, ‘I know you cannot wait to sleep on my bed.’

 

At home, Matteo’s biology notes are spread all around him but he keeps stealing glances at David. Fuck this, he thinks and goes to lie down next to him. So much for trying to get some studying done while he is free. No. He wants to be with David now. Now and every other coming moment of his life. He runs his hand through David’s hair and smiles when he furrows his eyebrows as he adjusts himself in his sleep. ‘sorry,’ Matteo whispers and rests his hand on David’s cheek. ‘I am so glad you’re here’.  
As he falls asleep next to David, he tells himself that he will always be there for him. That he will try to understand what he has been through as much as David would want to tell him. That when David wakes up, he will officially ask him to be his boyfriend. That he would make pasta for him for dinner. That, if David was cool with it, he would introduce him to his mother. That they would talk and share and face everything life threw at them together. That there were endless possibilities of how things could turn out and in each one of them they would always be together and happy.

**Author's Note:**

> hi. i am not-so-eloquent on tumblr if anyone wants to chat.


End file.
